Being the parents of a 5-month-old, my husband and I argue a lot about sleep. Some of these arguments are exactly what you would expect:
“I am sooo tired. I’ve been up since 5am!”
“No, it was 5:15. I know because I was awake, too, and I looked at the clock and then couldn’t fall back asleep for at least 10 minutes.”
“I am sooo tired. I only got 4 hours of sleep last night!”
“You got 4.5 hours! How could you possibly think you only got 4 hours? You went to bed in the 7th inning!”
But other arguments probably aren’t at all what you’d expect:
“No, seriously Andy, I really, really, REALLY want to be the one to get up with Aaron. If my eyes start bleeding or if I drop the baby, I’ll get you. But otherwise it needs to be me. Besides, if you get up you’ll be cranky.”
“No, no, no. It needs to be me. You are home with the kids all day so you need your rest. I’ll be fine if I’m tired; after all, I only work 10 hours a day. Besides, if you get up you’ll be cranky.”
But then after Aaron wakes for the second (or third) time in one night, our arguments sound more like this:
“I have to get up at 6am with Rachel. It’s 4am now. If I get up I’ll have to stay up and that’s not cool. Plus, you can go back to sleep and I can’t.”
“Well, I picked Collin up from a party at 1am and it’s 4am now, so I’ve only had 3 hours of sleep and you’ve had four!”
This goes on for so long that even though we don’t follow the cry it out method, Aaron has practically cried himself to sleep by the time we figure out who’s getting up.
Truth be told, we’re mostly still arguing over who should or should not have gotten up with Rachel. We’re still angry at the 2 years of sleep we lost, not because of Rachel, but because we stayed up late so many nights “discussing” who should be doing what at 3am.
We’re really pretty lucky. Aaron does a decent job at staying asleep most nights. Because I mostly stay home, and because Andy works nights plus has a superhuman ability to fall back asleep at any time during the day, we manage to piece together enough rest to keep us from say, backing the minivan into trees, which is what I did a lot of when I was pregnant.
Rachel has a 5:30pm bedtime. Aaron has a 7pm bedtime. Collin has an I-forgot-to-go-to-sleep-last-night bedtime.
Rachel gets up at 6am. Aaron gets up at 5am. Collin gets up at whatever time will make him only 15 minutes late to class instead of missing it altogether.
So we are tired. And a lot less smart than we’d otherwise be. The other night I asked Andy to “turn off the rain” when the oven timer was beeping. And Andy, poor Andy watches more 3am reruns of Sports Center on mute than anyone I know.
So our mantra, my mantra, really, has become “It’s a season. It will pass. It’s a season. It will pass.”
I think Andy is more focused on hoping for better On-Demand free movie options, preferably with sub-titles.